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Roy Schafer

“Their goal is to achieve control through establishing a common identity of context and outlook. Then, they hope, it will be possible to avoid having to cope with the immense emotional complexities of otherness in a continuous two-person situation.” — Insight and Interpretation: The Essential Tools of Psychoanalysis by Roy…

How to Talk to Yourself

Beware of what researchers call self-talk dissonance: If your existing self-talk is negative, don’t try to overcompensate with overzealous, motivational monologues (“You’re the best!”). Research suggests that people with low self-esteem who try to force positive self-talk can end up feeling worse. Instead, begin slowly, with what Van Raalte calls…